From Tyler: Almost 3 years ago, I became a momma for the first time through adoption. The first time I saw my daughter’s beautiful face and heard her sweet cry, my heart was forever hers. As I held her in my arms our first few days together, I understood the phrase, “love makes a family” in a deep and powerful way.
14 months later, our son was born and lovingly placed in our arms. In the hospital, as I looked down at his precious face all nestled into my chest, my heart and my love instantly doubled.
Adoption brought me my first two babies and fulfilled my longing for motherhood in the ways I had always imagined. Motherhood may have come to me in an unexpected way, but my love I have for my children is the most natural and deep love I’ve ever experienced. Adoption is a huge part of our story, but it doesn’t define our family. Love defines our family. Isabel and Noah may not share my DNA, but that does not limit my love or my bond with them. They are my children, my light and my world! I could not imagine our lives or our family without them! Years ago, I could not see how God could be using infertility for my good, but now I praise Him for using it to lead us to adoption and to our babies.
I am now pregnant with our third miracle baby after five years of infertility! I am so excited to be experiencing pregnancy for the first time and eagerly await the day I hold our second baby boy and third child in my arms. It is very surreal to be experiencing pregnancy and it feels like our journey to grow our family has come full circle. Pregnancy has also caused me to cherish my older children even more, because I understand in a new way what a miracle it is that they are ours! I am grateful and humbled that we were chosen by their birth mothers and by the Lord to be their parents. I love how God has moved over the years in powerful ways to redefine our definition of love, family and to reveal more of His heart to us.
As I experience pregnancy for the first time, I have also experienced many emotions. In the beginning of my pregnancy especially, I held my big babies extra close and wondered how having a biological child would affect them. Would this baby ever cause them to question our love for them? Will their little hearts hurt when they begin to understand that they didn’t grow in my belly? Would others treat this child differently than Izzy and Noah? I know it is natural to have these fears and concerns, especially as a mother whose heart beats for her babies! Having a biological child will bring a new dynamic into our family, and we are committed to meeting all questions and challenges as a family united by love. I know God will give us the grace and love to shepherd each of our children’s hearts as they grow up to understand their beautifully unique stories.
One thing that has been such a comfort to my momma heart over the past few months is seeing how much Izzy and Noah already love their baby brother. Isabel rubs my tummy, sings to her baby brother and gives him daily kisses. Noah will come up to me, pull up my shirt and exclaim, “baby!” Their baby brother hasn’t even arrived, yet they are already forming a beautiful bond with him.
We are over the moon about the newest addition to our family, as we should be. Our excitement over this pregnancy and baby does not threaten or diminish our love for Izzy and Noah. Each of our precious children is a miracle and answer to prayer. Our biological baby is no more our “own” child than Izzy and Noah are. It’s so important to us for people to understand this! We are also blessed to be surrounded by family, friends and a community that loves each of our sweet babies so well. I am grateful that many truly understand our deep love for each of our children. I am thankful that most people in our lives do not compare our children’s stories or view one way of adding to our family as being “better” than another. That’s how it should be.
Pregnancy and adoption are each a beautiful miracle. We love celebrating and embracing the stories of how each of our children came to us. The deepest prayer of our hearts is for our children all grow up knowing how longed for, loved and special they are. I am soaking up every part of pregnancy, and look forward to the day I can hold all three of my babies in my arms!
You may continue following Tyler's adoption and birth journey over on her website The Adventures of Baby K.
“However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle.” Valerie Harper