My husband Cary & I have been married for almost 5 years. We are the proud parents of two beautiful babies, Isabel & Noah. Our children came to us through Domestic Infant Adoption & are only 14 months apart in age. Our lives are crazy & busy with two under two, but filled to the brim with joy, love & the sweetest baby snuggles!
We started trying to conceive our first year of marriage. We were young, but our hearts were ready for a baby! After about a year of trying to conceive, we suspected something wasn’t right & had tests run. To our devastation, we received a dual infertility diagnosis. The next few months were extremely difficult and some of the most painful of our life. I really struggled with having hope for the future of our family. In my pain, I became bitter & angry. I shut God out and hardened by heart against Him.
We saw a fertility specialist & fertility treatment was recommended. I didn’t feel peace about moving forward with fertility treatment, but we felt it was our only option, so we decided to do a few rounds. The fertility treatment was unsuccessful & I was more broken & hurt than ever before. Finally, I couldn’t walk through my heartache alone any longer. I came before God desperate to hear from Him. I cried out to Him, asking what His will & purpose was for us in this painful season of disappointment & crushed dreams. I finally surrendered my heart to Him & sought His will for direction & peace. I’ll never forget the way God spoke to my heart that day…with tenderness & love, He met me right where I was. God spoke the word adoption to me & flooded my heart with hope, purpose & peace. I realized that He had a bigger purpose for our pain & that He had not abandoned us. That day, He put a new dream on my heart that would change the course of our lives forever.
My husband & I started praying about this new direction together & jumped right into researching about what avenue of adoption God was leading us to. After much prayer & time spent weighing our options, Domestic Infant Adoption was the clear path before us. I felt the Lord leading me to publicly share about our journey with infertility, adoption & faith, so I set up our blog TheAdventuresofBabyK & our Instagram account @theadventuresofbabyk. Our first post on our blog was our Adoption Announcement, which we shared on our second wedding anniversary in April of 2014. The support we received after sharing about our decision to adopt was incredible! We felt so loved & for the first time in a long time, we no longer felt alone on our journey to parenthood.
Throughout our adoption journey, we continued to share updates on our social media accounts. We were able to share about the adoption process, our struggle with infertility, prayer requests, fundraising efforts, the passion God was giving us for adoption & the love we had for our baby-to-be. Our social media platforms continue to allow us to share our story & connect with, minister to & encourage many other couples dealing with infertility & involved with adoption. We never imagined that God would move in such amazing ways through our openness!
One of the biggest obstacles we faced with adopting was financial. We were a young married couple with minimal savings. Our initial reaction to the financial aspect of adoption was shock & discouragement. It seemed impossible for us to ever afford to adopt! Instead of letting the financial aspect of adoption intimidate us & hold us back from adopting, our faith was stretched as we chose to believe God would provide for us. We knew He was calling us to adopt at that specific time for a specific purpose & we knew He was bigger than our circumstances! We chose to believe He would equip us for the journey in every way, including financially. We did some research & learned that many adoptive couples fundraise in order to afford to adopt. We realized this was a way God could provide for us and also a way for others to get involved in our journey. We got really creative with our fundraising efforts, made many sacrifices & worked really hard to prepare our finances for the sweet baby we knew God was leading us to. With the help of our friends, families & even strangers, we were able to bring in the funds necessary for our adoption over a period of about 8 months! We experienced God’s provision & the generosity of our community in a powerful way through our fundraising efforts. The support we received touched us deeply & impacted our hearts & our family forever!
Adoption is hard & filled with many unknowns. It’s an emotional roller coaster for sure! One of the hardest parts for me was the waiting. As the months passed, my longing to know our baby grew. It was so hard to long for my baby so desperately, but have no idea how long we would have to wait to be matched. There were days when I really struggled with the lack of control in adoption. During those months of waiting, I learned to rely on God in a deeper way. We used our wait as an opportunity to pray for our baby-to-be & the birth mother. God used our prayer life to show us His heart for adoption & to give us so much love for our baby & also deep compassion for the birth mother who was also somewhere out in the world going through her own complex & hard journey. God also used our wait to begin to heal us from the wounds of our infertility. We continued to grieve & process our infertility diagnosis, while also celebrating the new path God had us on.
In November of 2015, 8 months after we started the adoption process & after only 3 months of being active, we were matched! I’ll never forget answering a phone call from our adoption consultant & hearing the words, “She chose you!” for the first time. Tears immediately filled my eyes, my knees got weak & a wave of emotion flooded my heart! The next morning we were able to talk to our daughter’s birth mother for the first time over a conference call. Our conversation was beautiful & covered with God’s peace, grace & love. About 2 weeks later, we were able to travel to Georgia to meet our daughter’s birth mother & her family. The moment we first saw our daughter’s birth mother was so surreal! We immediately hugged & clung to each other then looked at each other with tears in our eyes as so much understanding passed between us. God had come to us both in time of need & provided a way for us…we desperately needed one another. That day God knit our hearts together in love…all for the sake of one special baby girl. Our visit that weekend marked us forever. It was the beginning of us understanding open adoption in a new & beautiful way.
Two and a half months later, we were awakened early in the morning by a very important phone call! Our daughter was coming…over 2 weeks early! We jumped out of bed, frantically packed, threw our bags in the car & hit the road for the 10 hour road trip to Georgia. Thankfully we made it there in plenty of time & were blessed to be included in every part of our daughter’s birth. From sitting with our daughter’s birth mother in her home & timing her contractions, to following her to the hospital & walking in with her, to sleeping in the room with her the night before our daughter was born, to seeing our daughter enter the world & taking care of her from the moment she was born, to staying in the hospital room with our daughter & her birth mother until we were all discharged, we were intimately involved in the entire birth & hospital experience. It was incredibly special but also exhausting, hard & heartbreaking in many ways… Most of all it was beautiful & a picture of God’s grace!
I can hardly think, talk or write about the moment we saw our daughter for the first time without crying. It was truly the most amazing & most beautiful moment of our lives! Our sweet Isabel was tiny, beautiful & absolutely perfect! When she was handed to me, everything inside me went still for a moment. Everyone else faded away & it was just her…and us…a family of three, finally together. Everything we’d gone through to find her made perfect sense. Then the stillness exploded into a rush of emotions & noise as everyone else came back into focus. Bringing our daughter home & introducing her to our families, friends & everyone who had prayed for us & supported our journey was incredibly beautiful, surreal & so special.
Our precious Isabel Grace will be turning 2 years old in just a couple of weeks. She is the sweetest, funniest, most amazing little girl we’ve ever known! She is such a treasure! Our hearts are even more smitten with her now than they were the first moment we saw her. We are blessed to continue an open relationship with Isabel’s birth family & pray our relationship will continue to be healthy & life-giving for years to come.
Adoption has transformed our lives & our vision for our family. God used adoption to stretch us, deepen our faith & teach us so much about His heart, His redemption, His provision & His goodness. We’ve had the opportunity to share about His love with so many people over the last few years because of our journey. We’ve been blessed to grow our family a second time through adoption…but more about that next time!
Thanks for visiting Adoption Strong & reading our adoption story. I hope it encouraged you!
The team at Adoption Strong blog would like to thank Tyler and Cary for sharing their adoption story with all of us. What a beautiful family God has knit together! We cannot wait to hear about your other adoption story :)
As with any adoption story, there are no two adoptions that are the same. We would love to hear your adoption story from a Christian perspective. Some families choose international adoption while other families choose domestic adoption (private or foster care). If you have adopted and would like us to feature your adoption story on Adoption Story Wednesday, please go to our Share Your Story page to submit to Adoption Strong.
“However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle.” Valerie Harper