Let me first start by saying I believe that we are all meant to raise a soul and however you get that soul that's the soul your are meant to raise.
Bryan and I were married April 3, 1999. We both wanted to be parents but we were young so we just thought it would happen when the time was right.
In the fall of 2004, we decided it was time to have a family since I hadn't gotten pregnant in the last 5 years. We decided we would adopt. We started our home study and were approved March 2005. We had our fist placement that same day, a baby boy just born. He didn't even have a name. We named him Bryson and life was wonderful for 6 months until his "unknown" father came forward and wanted our baby. So after 11 1/2 months, we lost our son to an abusive father. We were devastated!!
In 2007, we decided that it was time to pursue the fertility route. After not getting pregnant with our local doctor, we went to see a specialist in Toledo. He came in the room with our records and said you two will never have a baby and walked out and that was that! Again we where devastated!
In 2012, my good friend said that God had placed it on her heart to carry a baby for us. So we found a different clinic in Cleveland and started that process. The doctor told us there was no reason I couldn't have my own baby. So we started a ton of tests. I found out I was a diabetic. My A1C was 13.3 and I had no symptoms. I started making changes and started walking 3 miles everyday. About the 3rd day, my legs felt like jello; I was sore. I couldn't do this! I was about 1/2 mile from my house but I wanted to give up! I looked down because I was defeated! It's then that I saw my very first heart! When I saw that heart, I instantly thought Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I was listening to music at that time and Matthew West came on with Strong Enough. (Great song look it up if you haven't heard it) So I realized I was right. I was 100% not strong enough, but my awesome God was strong enough for both of us! I was able to get my A1C down to 5.8 in 4 months. I had many trips to Cleveland. On one of those trips ,I stopped to buy my brother up some spark notes for a report he was doing. While I was in the book store, there was a bargain book table. I noticed a baby name book. I picked it up to see what a named I had fallen in love with meant. I looked up Elliana and right there in the book store I could feel the presence of God and I knew everything was going to be okay! Elliana meant God answers prayers. So we didn't get pregnant but I was okay with that. I never once lost faith or was mad at God. I always came back to God answers prayers in His time and His way. I then started seeing hearts everywhere and would think how much God loves me and has a plan for me.
In 2014, I needed a change. I had been doing childcare for many years. I loved every single child and I had so much fun, but if I couldn't be a parent it was time to move on. So I started working at the bakery. I got rid of all the baby stuff so all Bryson's stuff was now gone.
In May 2016, I had more medical things and I needed a hysterectomy. I was okay with this because I had come to the conclusion that God does answer prayers and sometimes the answer is no. His plan is perfect and even if it's not what we want God knows what we need.
In July 2016, I was at work working with my co worker. She was telling me how she felt like she was letting her family down. Her sister-in-law was pregnant and she was not at a place to take the baby. Her mother-in-law was not healthy enough to take this baby either. The birth mom wanted to have an abortion and she would pay for it. But her mother told her if she did that she couldn't live! My first thought was No! I just got rid of all the baby stuff and just couldn't set my self up for heartbreak again.
I was frosting donuts and putting them on trays to go out in the case. When I walked through the bakery to put the donuts in the case over by my co worker on the floor was a chocolate heart! I couldn't even believe it! I said hey look at this. She said oh it's a heart! She went back to her work and I knew it was my sign! Again, I was not strong enough to have that heartbreak again but God was.
I said nothing that night. I just prayed the rest of the evening. The next morning, the first thing that came to my mind was text her. She was going on vacation and I wanted to tell her because I know how long the home study takes. She was so excited when I told her, but she had lots of people to talk to. The birth mom was already going through an agency which was good but expensive. The birth mom, through my co worker at this point, still told us to call and talk to her caseworker. Kelly told me that a targeted adoption was $12,000. At this point no one knew but Bryan and I. When Kelly told us that, I knew we needed prayers. Our family had to be told. We started telling our family and very close friends. Within 24 hours, we had the money! My co-worker called me with a few things she needed to tell me before we went any farther. Birth mom was an addict, she has Hep C and there is a chance the baby might have down syndrome or other genetic problems. Without hesitation, I said doesn't this baby still need a home? I knew God had a plan and whatever that plan was for this baby I would do my part! When I would see hearts, I then would think Matthew 25:23: Well done my good and faithful servant!
We had our first face to face meeting. Birth mom tells us that she has addiction issues but she is only doing pot. Then she tells us it's a boy. She said the only thing she wants for her son is for him to know God. Still to this day, I believe that was God telling us He will give him to us but we have to give him back.
We told her we would take her to doctor visits. The first visit I took her on, she said you know I was really upset when I first found out I was pregnant. I wondered how this could happen to me. But now I realize it's because he was never mine. He was always yours. That day, I saw his sweet little face for the first time and heard his heartbeat. I also am pretty sure she shot up in the bathroom that day. So I prayed!
I asked for prayers everywhere. I prayed that God would just wrap my baby in angel wings and let him come home safe to me. That's also the time we picked Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declared the Lord " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".
It was right around this time that $3000 of the money that was promised wasn't going to be coming. At this point he was our baby and we would put it on a credit card if we needed to. We were not going to let anything get in our way. A little while later Justin asked if he could ask for an offering during his sermon. The $3000 was raised and so was the $600 attorney fee.
We found out that birth mom's addiction was way more then just the pot and the whatever she used that day in the bathroom. But we kept praying for our son! On one of the last doctor appointments we went to, she said I don't understand.... I was thinking oh goodness what am I going to have to explain this time. She has some very colorful conversation. Then she said I don't understand why God would use me to do such an awesome thing. I told her I read in a book once that God uses ordinary people for extraordinary things. She was like that must be it because I can't believe I get to be part of something so amazing.
The Tuesday Nikolas was born, birth mom tested positive for opiates, anphetamines and pot. He was withdrawing. He was on the NSA scale. They told us that if he reached a score of 8 3x in a row or anything over an 8 he would be put on morphine. I called that night to check on him as we couldn't stay over night. The nurse told me his score was a 7. She said it's not IF Niko is going to go on morphine, it's WHEN. I hung up the phone and prayed Jeremiah 29:11 again. God has a plan for my sweet boy whatever it is, it's for his good! The next morning when I called, he was scoring a 4! When we got to the hospital, the doctor in the nursery told us Niko was going to be "high maintenance" and he would be delayed. The doctor said he would meet his milestones but not on time. He was going to need extra attention, patients and care. I said I can do high maintenance, no problem! I prayed over Nikolas everyday as I held and rocked him. We could only stay a few hours the first 3 days. On Saturday, I could spend 12 hours there and that's what I did! He was scoring a 6 that morning still not on morphine. After I held him that whole day, his score was a 3 when we had to leave. The next day they let us take him home! Out of 11 addicted babies, he was the only one who never had morphine!
He is so NOT high maintenance! He sleeps 12 hours at night, he is happy, rolling over and pulling my hair all on time or before milestones! Just like I said the whole time, GOD answers prayers!
The Missler Family
Andrea, I love how God answers prayers! Such a beautiful story of God gently reassuring you and directing your path along this journey to your son. Thank you for sharing!
As with any adoption story, there are no two adoptions that are the same. We would love to hear your adoption story from a Christian perspective. Some families choose international adoption while other families choose domestic adoption (private or foster care). If you have adopted and would like us to feature your adoption story on Adoption Story Wednesday, please go to our Share Your Story page to submit to Adoption Strong.
“However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle.” Valerie Harper